What I have forgotten...

As I stood silently on the train ride back to my aunt's place for the night, I could hear a familiar voice speaking to me; a soft and loving voice; a still small voice.

"Why won't you let me love you?"

There was no reply.

I had no reply. Frankly, all I did was continue to stare at nothingness as I ignored what I just thought I heard. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. If often does.

And then I heard if for the second time. This time, it was louder, yet still full of love.

"Son, why won't you let me love you?"

As I pondered in my heart for an answer, the sound of music eminating from my Ipod began to fade...

"I don't know..."

I didn't know the answer.

It should be simple, shouldn't it? Why does it seem like I have a problem receiving love? Unconditional love? A kind of love I do not deserve?

I guess I must have been hurt before. But this love isn't supposed to fail you. It's the love of God - one that is coming from my 'Papa God'. A love described in the parable of the prodigal son. A love of a father to a son. But somewhere along the journey of my life, I felt that I was betrayed of that love. I don't know why, but I've forgotten how it was to be loved by God. Shouldn't it be easy? Come to think of it, I haven't felt it in a long time.

Maybe it is time to let Him embrace me all over again. To let Him drown me with His love for me.

I guess there is a difference knowing in your mind that you are loved, and feeling it in your heart.

Take a chance, I remembered a friend recently told me. A chance in love.

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As my stop approached, I decided I would take that chance. And I walked out allowing Jesus to love me.... yet again.

After all, it's a new season.