Since my last blog, many things have come to happen and pass in my life. Though it has only been about 1 month, the plethora of wisdom I've obtained is immeasurable. Sharing my life with another personally and intimately has brought me closer to truths that I never saw if I was alone. You see, you have to know the truth, before the truth can set you free.
John 8:32 (NIV) says:
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
This morning as I was driving to work, I received my weekly scripture sms on my phone. I had a read of it since I was stuck in rush hour traffic. It spoke about worrying. Yeah, God, I get it. Don't worry. Thanks. I didn't really think much about it till I heard the exact same quote in a random Ps Prince sermon I was listening to on CD titled 'What it means to be dead to sin'.
Now that got my attention. Thats twice in a row. God must really want me to pay more attention to it, since its the 2nd time. Ok, I'll look at it soon.
Then I opened my email at the office and got the same scripture in my daily devotions.
OK. Time to whip up Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV). Feel free to click on the link and read the full text for yourself. What caught my attention was this:
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Now, who has not been worried about life? I worry every single day, every moment, every opportunity I have. It's a bad habit that has robbed me of my health and joy. Day in, day out, I've been struck with negative thoughts; thoughts of fear, condemnation, guilt, sadness. Is this the christian life? Oh nice, they should have told me this at the altar call- 'Now you receive Jesus, you are forgiven - now here are 100 more laws for you to follow so you can be more like Jesus. Yes, suffer and crucify your flesh on earth but don't worry, you'll gain eternal rewards in heaven.'
All this time, I've had this ingrained in my head. I've been christian for so long of a time, but I never really believed in my heart that Jesus loves me unconditionally. I've always wanted to live the best for Jesus, do this, do that for the kingdom of God - but it actually ISN'T about that. It's the greatest lie the enemy has ever told christians. It was never about doing at all. The christian walk is believing that everyday, by faith, that we are righteous because of what Jesus did. We are IN CHRIST.
Romans 6:11 says:
Likewise you also, reckon [account, consider] yourselves to be dead indeed to
sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord
For too long have I focused on the negative part of the message. I've focused all this while on my performance, on my 'sins' (or bad habits). I've become religious. Too often are we reminded that we are inadequate. And too often do we take this into our heart. And our heart is what Jesus came to set FREE. He didn't come to bring bondage and more rules. In fact Jesus came to FULFILL the laws. I didn't realise I was neglecting the work of the cross by focusing on my self efforts to be a good christian, to not sin.
Let me share my heart as a man. My biggest struggle in life (I thought) was sexual lust. All this while since young, I've condemned myself for just being a guy. I've struggled with pornography since my teens. I've applied 101 ways to stop but it never works. And now I know why - it's cause I've focused on this law - to not sin by looking at another lustfully. And it brought bondage. And instead of being reminded of how Jesus made me RIGHTEOUS, I'm reminded of my sin. It's a lost cause. And ladies, don't think that I'm the only one going through this. Think of the nicest christian guy you know of - my bet is he still struggles with sexual lust. It's not just me. And until last night, I realised that lust actually isn't my biggest problem. It's way worse. I realised that my greatest struggle was not lust, but self-righteousness.
Romans 3:20
Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.
I had lost my focus on HIS work and the cross. Instead I started focusing on MY work. Who did I think I was? If I could don't do, I wouldn't need Jesus. Jesus in the gospels gave GRACE to everyone he met, who've sinned, all except the Pharisees - cause they were self-righteous and trusted in their own works.
It's time to set my heart free. It's time to rest in Jesus' love and righteousness.
Here's something for you all to think about. Feel free to share your thoughts...
